Saturday, August 21, 2010

Compact Car Drivers are Parking Lot Sadists

How many times have I driven around a parking lot, thought I spotted an open space and hustled over to it, only to find that there was a tiny clown car already in place, pulled up so far that the car's nose was actually straddling the line dividing it from the opposite space? I am beginning to suspect that small car drivers deliberately pull into a parking spot as far as they can to psyche me out and make me think it's available. I live in a town filled with minivans, full-size SUVs, and extended cab pickups, and so I have decided that it must be a passive-aggressive ploy to punish us irresponsible breeders with big floppy carbon footprints. This aggrieves me because these auto autocrats have not even hung around long enough to notice the canvas totes that I dutifully pull from my cavernous hatchback, or that I make my kids reuse their Happy Meal boxes as hats before we throw them in the trash recycling bin. I mean, does the fact that I use my minivan for planet-saving carpooling count for nothing with these fuel fascists?? 

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